So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
