What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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