He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
how drunk are you?
Several
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
