I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize