How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
