Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
