one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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