rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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