I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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