I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
