Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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