How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I want to fling myself into the sun
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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