I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
operation harelip BJ is a go
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize