chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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