your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
