She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
