She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Help me help you realize you are a moron
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
