I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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