You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
