it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
