carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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