I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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