Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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