So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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