i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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