Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
