I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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