Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she was so not down for the gang bang
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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