Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
