Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
