u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
