Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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