Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize