direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
