I'm so fucking centered right now
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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