that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Randomize
