well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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