i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
