I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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