What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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