He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
