forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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