I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
