super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
