just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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