I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
