you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
