You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
