Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
