i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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