he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my sisters under your porch take her home
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
