Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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