I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
50% drunk capacity currently
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
