I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
