How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize