It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
