I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
