I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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