Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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