I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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