And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
