We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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