He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
