did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
