Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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