he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
