What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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