He kissed a someone with a penis
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
