He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
